E-mail footers - what they really say about you | Freeman Christie

E-mail footers as the subject of an article?  Come on.  Isn’t this just scraping through the bottom of the barrel into the cesspit beneath?  Actually, no.  Everything you send out from your organisation conveys something of your brand - and the small things often have the most impact.

Of course, you probably don’t have too much influence over your e-mail footer.  It’ll probably have been cooked up in a meeting between your IT and Legal departments.  Oh, what fun that must have been. But, small and as apparently insignificant as it is, what you put at the bottom of your e-mails unwittingly says quite a lot about your business.

Our extensive research and in-depth scientific study of Freeman Christie’s in-boxes has revealed the four main types of e-mail footer and the organisations behind them…  What sort is yours??

War and Peace

This is the type of footer that tries to cram in every inclusion, exclusion, exemption, disclaimer and sub-clause until it bursts.  Our record for one of these is a gnat’s whisker under 400 words.  The Declaration of Independence manages with only three times that amount and is a great deal easier to read.

War and Peace footers look daft - your e-mail simply says “yes - artwork’s signed off”, then the rest is footer.  Printing it uses half a forest.  People chew their own arms off from boredom before they reach the end.

This sort of footer is favoured by companies who are extremely risk-averse, who feel they need a “policy” on everything from sandwiches at desks to car parking - and who won’t sign off anything unless Compliance have been over it with the finest of fine-toothed combs.  Twice.

The Bleedin’ Obvious

This footer says things like “This E-Mail has been prepared using information believed by the author to be reliable and accurate…”  Really?  What?  As opposed to “This E-Mail has been prepared using information believed by the author to be a complete and deliberate pile of badger dribble”?

I’m convinced the job of writing these e-mails gets farmed out to the most junior member of Office Services who, very sensibly, thinks they need to clarify everything but, in doing so, ends up clarifying nothing.

Companies with these footers probably have little notices up in the staff lavatories reminding staff to wash their hands, send memos about the excessive use of company toilet paper, ban running with scissors and line all the edges of their notices up on the noticeboards.

Out of the tomb

These are the firms where the Legal Department dug up some ancient scrivener from Highgate Cemetery, whacked 240 volts through him and sat him down to write their e-mail footer.  Heavy with “heretofore” “hereafter” and “herein”, you can almost hear the creak of the coffin lid.

Bet the writer signs off with “I beg to remain your humble and obedient servant” before he retires to take claret.

Strangely, footers like these often lurk at the bottom of e-mails from IT companies, telecoms firms and software houses.  They’re so busy being innovative that they’ve just let the company lawyer out of his dusty cupboard, let him scribble away and not bothered to check what he’s written.

Jammy Dodgers

You can tell a Jammy Dodger footer because it’s headed in big letters, “Disclaimer”. My Oxford English Dictionary defines a disclaimer as “a renunciation or disavowal of responsibility.”  Even if you need to cover yourselves, do you really want to call it a ‘disclaimer’ with those connotations?

‘Disclaimer’ footers make it look as though you’re trying to wriggle - even when you’re not.  How about ‘About this e-mail’ as a heading instead?

These are the sort of firms whose call centres habitually refer to people as “yourselves” and talk about “purchasing” things rather than “buying” them, simply because they don’t understand the power of language and brand.  Good dose of plain English needed.

My favourite

My favourite e-mail footer though, is the one I received last week.  It starts “Generally, this communication is for informational purposes only…” Strange.  I’d thought it was for printing off, folding carefully into a paper plane and using to transport small rodents around the office.

So, what to do about it?

Legally, all you need is your company’s registered name, your place of registration in the UK, the registration number and the registered office address - that’s it.  If your Legal department are keen to make sure you’re covered (even though there seems to be little precedent to show the legal wording of footers has got anyone off the hook in court) how about writing one that’s in Plain English, that makes sense and that fits with your brand?  After all, your e-mail footer is a brand communication like any other - people just see more of it than most.