In light of the new company, I am officially not taking on any more freelance work in the foreseeable future. I will continue to help and support anybody I have done work for previously, but any new enquiries or projects will be done through my new ultra-excellent company.

Which brings me onto this website. If am not pimping out my freelance skills, then this site as it stands is pretty useless. So what do I do with it?

I could use it as some highly complicated CSS3 / HTML 5 test project, but to be honest there are better people out there to do that.

I could just leave it as a blog, bit as you are probably aware, my tardiness at updating it makes it pretty dull to most people.

So I am open to suggestions.

Whilst i am deliberating about what to do, give pure white creative ALL YOUR WORK. There is a new site coming soon along with a bit of a re-brand. I’ll keep you posted.

Ciao

They don’t make them like this anymore..

Awesome, not the fact that fat people will get fatter, but the fact it moves in ANY direction.

Proper genius that.

E-mail footers - what they really say about you | Freeman Christie

E-mail footers as the subject of an article?  Come on.  Isn’t this just scraping through the bottom of the barrel into the cesspit beneath?  Actually, no.  Everything you send out from your organisation conveys something of your brand - and the small things often have the most impact.

Of course, you probably don’t have too much influence over your e-mail footer.  It’ll probably have been cooked up in a meeting between your IT and Legal departments.  Oh, what fun that must have been. But, small and as apparently insignificant as it is, what you put at the bottom of your e-mails unwittingly says quite a lot about your business.

Our extensive research and in-depth scientific study of Freeman Christie’s in-boxes has revealed the four main types of e-mail footer and the organisations behind them…  What sort is yours??

War and Peace

This is the type of footer that tries to cram in every inclusion, exclusion, exemption, disclaimer and sub-clause until it bursts.  Our record for one of these is a gnat’s whisker under 400 words.  The Declaration of Independence manages with only three times that amount and is a great deal easier to read.

War and Peace footers look daft - your e-mail simply says “yes - artwork’s signed off”, then the rest is footer.  Printing it uses half a forest.  People chew their own arms off from boredom before they reach the end.

This sort of footer is favoured by companies who are extremely risk-averse, who feel they need a “policy” on everything from sandwiches at desks to car parking - and who won’t sign off anything unless Compliance have been over it with the finest of fine-toothed combs.  Twice.

The Bleedin’ Obvious

This footer says things like “This E-Mail has been prepared using information believed by the author to be reliable and accurate…”  Really?  What?  As opposed to “This E-Mail has been prepared using information believed by the author to be a complete and deliberate pile of badger dribble”?

I’m convinced the job of writing these e-mails gets farmed out to the most junior member of Office Services who, very sensibly, thinks they need to clarify everything but, in doing so, ends up clarifying nothing.

Companies with these footers probably have little notices up in the staff lavatories reminding staff to wash their hands, send memos about the excessive use of company toilet paper, ban running with scissors and line all the edges of their notices up on the noticeboards.

Out of the tomb

These are the firms where the Legal Department dug up some ancient scrivener from Highgate Cemetery, whacked 240 volts through him and sat him down to write their e-mail footer.  Heavy with “heretofore” “hereafter” and “herein”, you can almost hear the creak of the coffin lid.

Bet the writer signs off with “I beg to remain your humble and obedient servant” before he retires to take claret.

Strangely, footers like these often lurk at the bottom of e-mails from IT companies, telecoms firms and software houses.  They’re so busy being innovative that they’ve just let the company lawyer out of his dusty cupboard, let him scribble away and not bothered to check what he’s written.

Jammy Dodgers

You can tell a Jammy Dodger footer because it’s headed in big letters, “Disclaimer”. My Oxford English Dictionary defines a disclaimer as “a renunciation or disavowal of responsibility.”  Even if you need to cover yourselves, do you really want to call it a ‘disclaimer’ with those connotations?

‘Disclaimer’ footers make it look as though you’re trying to wriggle - even when you’re not.  How about ‘About this e-mail’ as a heading instead?

These are the sort of firms whose call centres habitually refer to people as “yourselves” and talk about “purchasing” things rather than “buying” them, simply because they don’t understand the power of language and brand.  Good dose of plain English needed.

My favourite

My favourite e-mail footer though, is the one I received last week.  It starts “Generally, this communication is for informational purposes only…” Strange.  I’d thought it was for printing off, folding carefully into a paper plane and using to transport small rodents around the office.

So, what to do about it?

Legally, all you need is your company’s registered name, your place of registration in the UK, the registration number and the registered office address - that’s it.  If your Legal department are keen to make sure you’re covered (even though there seems to be little precedent to show the legal wording of footers has got anyone off the hook in court) how about writing one that’s in Plain English, that makes sense and that fits with your brand?  After all, your e-mail footer is a brand communication like any other - people just see more of it than most.

Now THAT is driving.

Monster Go Kart

A 900cc Fireblade engine in a go kart!

They may resemble pandas, buffalos and camels - but these animals are actually poodles, all competing for the title of top dog at ‘creative grooming’ shows across the U.S.

Something of a canine fancy dress contest, it takes just two hours for owners to transform their pets, which are sheared and coloured to achieve each look.

The incredible transformations were captured by photographer Ren Netherland (nice beard), who travels thousands of miles each year to attend each competition.

We are so incredibly proud of Cameron, he has done an amazing job and thoroughly loved EVERY minute of his time on the stage.

I would also personally like to thank everyone involved who has helped Cam on this amazing journey including the cast who have been fabulous.

I am looking forward to his last show and I’m sure it will be very emotional!

West End debut for budding star

April 17, 2009

A BOY from Ashtead has made his West End debut opposite Jason Donovan at the age of just seven.

Cameron Sayers is playing Donovan’s son Benjamin in the musical Priscilla, Queen of the Desert at London’s Palace Theatre.

In only his second stage role, Cameron speaks all his lines in an Australian accent as well as singing a duet with the leading man.

His mother Vanessa said her son had always wanted to act.

“I know people always say that, but he has been talking about it since we can remember,” she said. “He was born to do this.”

Cameron, a pupil at the Greville Primary School, is taken to his twice-weekly performances by his mum, his dad Mark and his grandparents.

Cameron’s family, including his four-year-old brother Tyler, have also been helping him perfect his lines and Australian accent.

“It has been a real family effort,” Mrs Sayers added. “We are all so proud of what Cameron has achieved. It has all been so quick – this was his first West End audition so it is incredible he got it.

“Cameron is loving being on stage. He sings at home all the time and practices his lines to himself constantly. He is so committed.”

Five boys share the role of Benjamin, taking turns with the show’s eight performances a week until September.

Cameron opened the show’s West End run on March 10 with two weeks of previews, and also performed at the press night and gala evening.

Mrs Sayers said that although her son was working hard, the family was being careful to make sure it did not interfere with his schooling.

“His school have been wonderfully supportive,” she said. “But we are keeping a careful eye on him to make sure he stays on track and isn’t too tired.”

Cameron started acting professionally when he won the part of Wendy’s little brother Michael at Epsom Playhouse’s Peter Pan pantomime.

“It was obvious despite his young age that he had a huge amount of talent,” said Songtime Theatre Arts principal Matthew Chandler, who auditioned Cameron and then put him forward to play Benjamin in Priscilla.

“He impressed both the producers and the audience at every performance,” he said. “I feel sure this young man is destined to see his name in lights in the future.”

We’ve already got a soft spot for Fiat’s 500 Abarth, but this conversion from German tuner Karl Schnorr raises the little car’s game to another level.

The first upgrade to catch our eye is the red painted 7x17ins alloys from OZ, which Schnorr will supply for just over 1,000 Euros. Schnorr also promises better road holding from a special coilover kit, which lowers the Fiat a few millimetres and costs 1.270 Euros fitted.

But it’s the two-stage power upgrade that we’re most interested in. Power Level I costs 950 Euros and lifts output by a useful 28hp to 163hp, but power level II at 5,050 Euros takes the car into proper performance car territory.

According to Schnorr an engine software remap combined with a sport exhaust system and a bigger turbocharger give the Fiat 500 an additional 65hp taking the total output to a heady 200hp. No acceleration figures are quoted, but with a 1035kg kerbweight it ought to fly. We’ve just had a go in Fiat’s own £16,100 EsseEsse version of the 500 Abarth (the standard 135hp Abarth is £13,605) which makes 160hp, and that was fast enough to be jolly good fun - watch this space for RacingPete’s review…